Dear random strangers I meet while walking my dog,

When I want your advice on how to train my dog, I will ask for it. Actually, I *did* want advice on how to train my dog, so I sought out a professional trainer with a track record of good results. And, interestingly enough, she did *not* recommend alpha rolling my dog (Guess what? Nobody recommends it anymore, beyond Cesar Millan, whose techniques have been widely criticized among vets and trainers.) Nor did she recommend the many other dominance-theory based tips you so freely offer as "the only way to get your dog to behave" (Read the AVSAB position statement on dominance theory.) In fact, she made it clear that there isn't just one way to train a dog, and that you need to know your dog well to determine what techniques will work best for you. By the way, you don't know my dog better than I do.

But even if your advice was sound, which 90% of the time it isn't, why would I allow complete strangers to tell me how to train my dog? Why should I trust someone I've never met before, whose dog, for all I know, could be a complete hell-beast 90% of the time?

And finally, to the girl I met on today's walk, with the lovely pit bull whom Frieda enjoyed meeting: You DO NOT under any circumstances get to alpha roll my dog without my permission! OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?! Why would you even think that is okay? I won't even pet someone else's dog without asking them first. Why would you think it's all right to aggressively PUNISH my dog just because, OMG, a puppy who is distracted by a new person and new dog doesn't sit on command for a total stranger? She wasn't jumping on your or biting you. She wasn't frightening or harming your dog. What excuse can you possibly have for wrapping your hands around her neck? Oh that's right--none.

No love,
Frieda's "mommy"