A skyful of possibilities

New reading list

2010-01-04T01:15:23Z

Here is the list of books I read in 2009. I didn't read nearly as much as I wanted to. But then, I never really do.

This post will become my reading list for 2010. Haven't finished anything yet, though.

For all my WoW-playing friends...

2010-01-02T20:38:10Z

Oh to be a barnacle...

2010-01-02T04:32:22Z

5 animals that can do amazing things...with their penises.

With video, no less.

!!!1!!!111!!!!!!1!!!

2010-01-02T00:53:06Z

Today instead of running I took a long walk. According to my iPod, I walked for exactly 1 hour, 1 minute, and 1 second. Then Rob pointed out to me that today is 01/01/10.

Freaky.

While on my walk I felt a sudden craving to go horseback riding.

New Year's

2010-01-01T08:33:56Z

Back at our old house you could see the fireworks from downtown Tempe on New Year's Eve, and I used to drag the kids outside at midnight to watch them because I really, REALLY love fireworks.

I'd end up dragging poor Nick out of bed and holding him on my hip to watch. He'd be excited for about two fireworks and then get cold and tired and want to go in.

But now he's old enough to get really excited about things. Tonight he yelled out the countdown with Dick Clark and then we all went outside to set off poppers and burn sparklers. We could hear hooting and hollering and explosions of various sorts from every direction. You all know how much I love that whole communal celebratory experience. We hooted and hollered back and yelled "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" at the top of our lungs.

Ranty McRantypants

2009-12-28T02:37:55Z

So I ordered my brother a tee shirt for Christmas. I went to a web site, picked out a shirt, and ordered it online. Took about 5 minutes.

Then I got an email from the company asking me to confirm that the product arrived. So I clicked on the confirmation link, and was taken to a survey about my "purchasing experience," asking (on a scale of 1-10) about my satisfaction with things like, "product arriving on time." Now, to me, there are no shades of gray with something like that. Either it arrives quickly, and I'm totally happy, or it doesn't, and I'm totally unhappy. How would you define, say, a "7" on that scale?

And then it went on asking me about things like my experience with customer service. I don't know, I didn't need customer service.

But I dutifully filled out the stupid little bubbles, until I realized that I was only on page one of FIVE of this survey.

Really? REALLY?

I'm NOT going to spend a half-hour filling out a survey about an experience that lasted 5 minutes. Sorry.

The happiest sound...

2009-12-25T03:17:42Z

...is Nick belting out "The 12 Days of Christmas" from the bathtub.

One Christmas gift I DO remember...

2009-12-25T01:12:21Z

Eleven years ago Santa--well, an obstetrician--delivered me the best Christmas present ever: my baby boy, Nicholas. Happy birthday my Christmas baby!

No-kill diet

2009-12-23T05:20:40Z

In "Sorry, Vegans: Brussels Sprouts Like to Live, Too," Natalie Angier posits that plants have a strong will to survive, that they respond strongly to external stimuli, and that going vegan may not be as ethically superior as some like to believe.

My sense of the article was that Angier's argument is a bit tongue-in-cheek, a clever lede to draw her readers into the not-intuitively-fascinating world of plant biology. YMMV, of course.

One of the comments got me thinking, however. The commenter writes:

"A number of posters seem to believe that we must kill something to eat. This is not so. Many vegetarian foods are harvested without kiling the plant - the apple tree, for instance does not die when its apples are harvested."

This is true. In fact, some plants actually rely on animals eating their fruit and then spreading the seeds through their feces. Eating fruit is beneficial to plants.

It's also true that not all animal products kill the animals that produce them. Dairy cows don't die when milked. Laying hens don't die when we take their eggs.

So maybe the most ethical diet is not vegan but a no-kill diet based on both animal and plant products. Ovo-lacto vegetarianism comes close, but doesn't consider the plant side of the equation.

Of course, this all presumes that your sense of ethics values preserving life over quality of life.

Writer's Block: Simply wonderful

2009-12-19T03:51:46Z

It's often said that the simple things in life are the most precious. What small pleasures make you the happiest?

Submitted By nisie

View 931 Answers

God, where to even begin? That first cup of coffee in the morning. A really hot shower. Snuggling. Petting the dog. Reading to the boy. Wonderful smells, like fresh lemons or just-baked bread. Daffodils. A giant pile of library books waiting to be read. Christmas carols. Arizona sunsets.

I could go on all night, but I'll leave off there.

I am ded. of kyootness.

2009-12-12T23:51:19Z

An addendum to the introvert/extrovert post

2009-12-08T17:16:25Z

Thinking things through on the way to work this morning, I came up with the following:

1. I think more people are likely to self identify as introverts, and more likely to identify others as extroverts. This is because we all feel our own insecurities, anxieties and embarrassment. But most of us do a good job at covering them up in social situations. We see other people's masks and assume they are confident and comfortable, when in fact they may not be.

2. What I was trying to say before, but I think got lost in the muddle, is that I think there's a cost-benefit analysis going on for people in terms of whether or not to socialize. And I think today's society makes it so that you don't need the benefits of being social as much as people did in the past. So if you call yourself an introvert because you find it more beneficial and enjoyable to be alone, that might be partially due to external factors. We don't need as much social interaction as we did in the past. We can have abstract relationships that require much less of us. Business transactions rather than give-and-take personal connections. If we had to rely more on personal relationships, we'd be more motivated to pursue them, AND having to do it regularly would make it easier for us to do. Inertia is a powerful force.

red_girl_42 @ 2009-12-07T23:04:00

2009-12-08T06:07:04Z

Look at the new icon I found!

<3 <3 <3

Introverts and extroverts

2009-12-08T05:36:25Z

ideealisme made a post about introverts and extroverts and it got me thinking. She mentioned a discussion about introversion and extroversion, and how pretty much everyone self-identified as an introvert. She wondered if the term "extrovert" has taken on negative connotations, and people don't want to be associated with it.

I have a different thought on that. I think the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" set up a false dichotomy that doesn't really exist. Sure, some people enjoy socializing more than others, but I think there's something else going on.

People generally refer to me as an extrovert to the tenth power. But if you said that to my parents they would laugh and ask if you had me mistaken for someone else. I spent my entire childhood being painfully shy. So shy my parents couldn't hire babysitters to watch me. So shy I couldn't raise my hand to answer questions in class even though I knew the answers. So shy I had a very informal high school class with only 5 students in it, and for the entire year I never spoke to any of my classmates, even though I really wanted to. I spent most of my free time alone, reading, and was happy to do so.

Eventually, I learned how to speak to strangers. I learned to speak up in classes, or meetings, or whatnot. I can even be left alone with a babysitter now. :-) People refer to me as a social butterfly, and it flatters me and makes me want to live up to that reputation even more. But you know what? The fact is, I'm still shy. I still get nervous walking into a room full of strangers. I get stage fright making presentations to groups. And while I love throwing parties, I worry incessantly whether anyone will come, whether everyone had a good time, and whether that crack I made to so-and-so might have offended her.

What makes it easier, however, is an important lesson I learned long ago. It's the fact that EVERYONE--EVERY PERSON ON THIS EARTH--IS SHY AND INSECURE.

Yup. That guy who brags constantly about his high-paying job, his sexual conquests, and his Mensa membership? Insecure as hell. That person in the corner looking down her nose at all the partygoers like she's too good for them? Not hardly. She just doesn't want to admit she has no idea how to strike up a conversation. Once I realized this completely universal fact, it became a lot easier for ME to strike up conversations. Because I now know everyone is just as grateful as I am that someone is talking to them.

So am I an introvert or an extrovert? Some people say that introverts "recharge their batteries" through time alone, while extroverts do so by being with people. And that's how you're supposed to tell which one you are. I call bullshit. I think the vast majority of people need quiet time to recharge, no matter how extroverted. I would go batshit crazy if I had to be among large groups of people all the time. On the other hand, I would venture to say that all of us would go batshit crazy being alone ALL the time, too. That's why prisons and POW camps use solitary confinement as the harshest form of punishment. We are inherently social creatures. We need human interaction, even if only on a small scale.

Do I consider myself extroverted? Yes. Does throwing a party like the one I had Saturday fill me with energy? Hell no! I was exhausted! But a lot of things that are worthwhile, fulfilling and yes, even enjoyable, are also exhausting. Being successful at your career is often exhausting. Working out is exhausting. Going to college is exhausting. Raising children is exhausting. And yet most of us choose to do these kinds of things anyway, because the benefits outweigh the costs. To me, being social is the same thing. It tires me out, but I've decided that the benefits--primarily a kickass social network--are worth the costs in time and energy.

Also, labeling people as introverts and extroverts pigeonholes them in ways that don't work well. As I said before, EVERYONE has insecurities. But in my experience, social skills are just that--skills. Some people pick them up intuitively, but anyone can learn them. It's like math. Some people just get it, while others have to work at it.

Me, I had to learn to smile and make eye contact. People don't approach you if you always look away from them and never smile. I had to train myself to do these things, but once I did, doors opened up to me.

My mother was shy like me when she was young. Once, when she was in college, she ran into a guy she went to high school with, and she approached him and said "hello." He looked shocked, and said, "Wow, you aren't snobby anymore!" She was surprised, and asked him what he meant, and he told her, "Well, in high school you wouldn't talk to anyone or even look at them. I thought you were snobby and thought you were too good for us." But the truth was, she simply hadn't learned those skills.

One of the things I'm hoping to teach Nick is some of the social skills I had to learn the hard way. A few years back I noticed that kids would say "hi" to him in the schoolyard and he wouldn't respond. I finally said, "Nick, when kids say 'hi' to you it's polite to say 'hi' back. Otherwise they think you don't like them." He looked surprised and said, "But I DO like them!" I had to teach him that people only know that you like them through your behaviors, and responding to greetings is one of those kinds of behaviors. It's a social cue. If you make yourself do it, eventually it becomes habit. And the way people respond to it encourages you to do it more.

The reason why so many people identify as introverts today, in my opinion, is because we have less incentive to learn those social cues. Think about it--if you lived 200 years ago you wouldn't be able to get your entertainment from a computer or a TV. You'd have to go out among people. If you wanted a house for your new family, you'd have to get your community to help you build it--no going to a bank and just shelling out money. It's much easier to get by in society today without advanced social skills than it used to be, so I think more people choose not to learn them.

I worked hard to gain the social skills I never had intuitively. And that made socializing more pleasant and less draining than it used to be. Just like any skill. The first time you go running, you feel like you're going to die before you reach the first mile. But if you do it every day, it becomes less taxing and more fun. Eventually you even get a bit addicted. You start reaping the benefits--more energy, better health, ass of steel.

Okay, I've been hitting the wine left over from the glögg party so I don't know how coherent I am anymore. I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks about this.

growf

2009-12-07T17:54:52Z

People who make web sites with multi-page articles and then don't offer a "printer-friendly" option should be forced to eat cockroaches.

When each page of the article is followed by about 6 pages' worth of comments, then the people should be forced to eat cockroaches AND rub chili sauce on their naughty bits.

/rant

Why I'm glad I don't wear makeup to work

2009-12-04T04:23:52Z

Lately I have become obsessed with the song "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainright (originally by Leonard Cohen, I believe.) This morning I listened to it over and over in the car on my way to work and singing along made me weep like a little baby. I don't know what it is about that song, but it just gets me.

Tonight when I got home I downloaded the sheet music and played it about 20 times.

Diane Savino is filled with awesomesauce

2009-12-04T04:13:13Z

NY Senator Diane Savino talks about why she supports legalizing gay marriage:

Bestest quotes:

"Turn on the television. We have a wedding channel on cable TV devoted to the behavior of people on the way to the altar. They spend billions of dollars, behave in the most appalling way, all in an effort to be princess for a day. You don't have cable television? Put on network TV. We're giving away husbands on a game show. You can watch The Bachelor, where thirty desperate women will compete to marry a 40-year-old man who has never been able to maintain a decent relationship in his life."

"That's what we've done to marriage in America, where young women are socialized from the time they're five years old to think of being nothing but a bride. They plan every day what they'll wear, how they'll look, the invitations, the whole bit, they don't spend five minutes thinking about what it means to be a wife. People stand up there before god and man even in Senator Diaz's church, they swear to love honor and obey, they don't mean a word of it. So if there's anything wrong with the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right and have abused it for decades."

"We have nothing to fear from love and commitment."

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T06:01:01Z

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US-ian friends! I had great fun reading Facebook earlier and seeing how many status messages had something to do with making pie. (My pumpkin pie is cooling on the counter as I type.)

I have an awful lot to be thankful for, most notably that I am loved, deeply, by multiple people in many different ways. That is priceless. I have a nice home, a decent job, good health, and a great deal of freedom. It's easy to take those things for granted when the boss hands me a stupid assignment or the water heater breaks down, but I really am grateful.

Bloody pawprints

2009-11-20T18:59:41Z

My bathroom looks like a massacre site.

The baby kitten got bitten by something this week and her paw got all gross and swollen. Rob took her to the vet this morning and they cleaned it out and made it bleed, which is a good thing. But now she's bleeding all over the place so we have her closed up in the bathroom. There are little bloody pawprints all over the place in there.

At least her paw wasn't abcessed so we didn't have to shell out TOO many hundreds of dollars.

Tis the season

2009-11-19T03:28:42Z

I love the holidays more than anything, but man, the next month is going to be crazy! (And no, I really wouldn't want it any other way, but I WILL be a stress case). Potluck lunch at work tomorrow. A's 30th birthday party Saturday night. Thanksgiving next week--I thought it was just going to be us 4, which bummed me out, but now it looks like we may get some guests after all! Glogg party Dec. 5. And then I think I'll have Nick's birthday party the following weekend. Then the weekend after that is MY birthday, and you'd can be damn sure I won't be enjoying a quiet, solitary evening at home. Plenty of time for that when I'm dead. Also Rob and I talked about getting dolled up and going out some night since there's no football banquet this year--maybe to the luminarias at the botanical gardens. Then of course there's Christmas itself, with Nick's actual birthday on Christmas Eve. We usually do a small family celebration on the day.

There's a lot to do, but I have to say that just thinking about the holidays makes me feel the way Snoopy looks in my icon above. I love all this shit. :-) Especially Christmas Eve when Rob and I snuggle down with a bottle of champagne for our annual watching of "Love, Actually."

I'm interested to see who ends up showing up for glogg night (and if you're local and I haven't invited you already, comment here with your email address). I always treat parties like chemistry experiments, or cooking when you just pull everything out of your cabinet and throw it together and see what you get. I invite people from all different segments of my life, see who shows up, and watch how they mix together. Sometimes it's awesome, sometimes it's a disaster, but it's always a fun gamble.

weekendy

2009-11-14T20:16:59Z

This is a busy weekend. Thursday night I went over my friends' house to help them make favors for their wedding. Yesterday I took solar_diablo out to lunch for his birthday. Tonight he is accompanying me to R&A's wedding, as the hubby is out of town for work. It should be a really fun time. They're doing it at some medieval-themed place, the groomsmen are all wearing kilts, and instead of champagne they're having a whisky toast.

Tomorrow evening I'm taking JR and Nick to see Phantom of the Opera. That too should be hella fun.

Speaking of JR, her boyfriend is here visiting this weekend. Seems like a nice guy. They have spent most of their time out or holed up in her room, so I haven't gotten to talk to him all that much.

and he bought her a dishwasher, and a coffee percolator

2009-11-14T04:02:07Z

I FINALLY found the sheet music for "The Last Time I Saw Richard" today. Now I have all the piano songs from Joni's "Blue" album.

Iz happy. :-)

Writer's Block: Super-human

2009-11-14T04:01:02Z

If you could choose one super-power, what would it be and why?

Submitted By bloodlustshow

View 1267 Answers

Teleportation would rock--free travel! But only if the fam could teleport with me.

I've also always wanted to be able to go invisible on command. I'd like to know what people--especially powerful people--do behind closed doors.

red_girl_42 @ 2009-11-13T10:46:00

2009-11-13T17:48:17Z

Happy birthday solar_diablo, you old fart!

Self-ownership and the question of abortion

2009-11-12T19:03:38Z

I really like the Knowledge@W.P. Carey web site, part of ASU's Business School. They post a lot of thought-provoking articles on the economic aspects of various current events. Today I found this article about abortion and self-ownership:

http://knowledge.wpcarey.asu.edu/article.cfm?articleid=1823

It's nice to see a piece on abortion that presents reasoned arguments (on both sides) rather than emotionally overwrought sound-bytes.